Not So Innocent
by The Fair Ophelia
Summary: Kirk believes that the mysterious exchanges between Spock and Uhura are not as innocent as they seem. So he formulates his own theory. Companion to "Innocent Enough"


.Kirk had always been observant, when he cared enough to pay attention. Most of the time, to be honest, he really didn't care. School work had always been a breeze, even at the Academy. He was smart enough to get through without really having to work. It was only when things really bothered him that he cared enough to put his concentration to it.

Like the Kobayashi Maru test. Boy, he had hated that thing. That's why he had taken it three times and cheated to beat it. When James Tiberius Kirk put his mind to something, nothing, not even the rules, stopped him.

So when _this_ happened, he couldn't help but be a little fixated on it. I mean, come on, it was weird, right? A hot girl like Uhura taking up with a guy who had ice water in his veins. Green ice water at that.

There was just something off about those two, and the more Kirk thought about it, the more it bothered him. Oh, it wasn't that they weren't professional or anything. He had to admit that they were two of his best officers. He had given them both glowing reports on his latest batch of officer evaluations. Called them exemplary and everything. In fact, he believed his words for Spock had been "freakishly so".

They had become sort of his pet project on board the Enterprise. Because no matter what they told you at the Academy, space travel was a few isolated bursts of energy and excitement followed by long periods of mind-numbing boredom. And Jim had never coped well with boredom. He always needed something to do, some puzzle to work on. When he had been twelve, it had been hotwiring his stepfather's antique convertible; now, it was trying to understand his two senior officers.

So he watched them. He had always been good at observing things, when he set his mind to it, whether it be the strange interaction between Spock and Uhura, or that cute cadet who had just noticed his Captain insignia and would probably do anything he asked out of awe of his position. Yes, he was good at observing things. Whether those things were relevant or not was yet to be seen.

-----

Kirk shuffled onto the bridge, cup of coffee in his hand. Or the lukewarm sludge that passed for coffee on this ship. It did nothing to relieve his hangover. He would have complained, but that took energy, and as far as he was concerned, it was too early for that.

"Somebody have a late night?" Uhura teased as he walked past her.

"Shut up, Uhura," Kirk muttered. "This is all your fault."

"All I did was point out that beer is for pansies," she said with a shrug. "You were the one who took up the challenge."

"How was I to know Lt. O'Malley could drink a fully grown man under the table?" Kirk groaned. "She's just a tiny girl."

"You could have stopped after the tenth shot."

"But then she would have won. And what kind of a captain would I be if I let a little mechanic drink me down?"

Uhura rolled her eyes.

"I forgot who I was talking to," she said.

Kirk flopped himself down in his captain's chair, took a sip of his coffee, and grimaced.

"Well you did meet me in a bar."

The turbo lift doors slid open, and Spock stepped onto the bridge, looking crisp and rested. Stupid, smug, pointy eared gremlin.

"Good morning, Lieutenant Uhura," he said.

"Good morning, Commander," Uhura responded, without missing a beat.

There seemed to pass between them a moment of silent connection. There it was again. That code that they seemed to be talking in.

"You are awake," Spock said to Kirk. "I thought perhaps you wouldn't be."

Kirk could have sworn he was smirking. If Vulcans smirked.

"I hate you," Kirk scowled.

Spock looked smug again.

"Commander?" Uhura called. "Can you come double check this read-out for me? It _sounds_ like Bajorian, but it's really garbled and I'm not sure if I translated some of it correctly."

"Of course, Lieutenant," Spock said, getting up.

In spite of himself, Kirk turned to watch as Spock made his way to her console, and bent over her translation.

What did Uhura see in him? Did she just like a sounding board for her ideas? A brain she could bounce ideas off of? Was she fascinated by his exotic Vulcan qualities? Was the gossip right, and she only liked him for his pointy ears?

Kirk allowed himself a leisurely look at Uhura while she wasn't paying attention. If she had been, such blatant checking out would probably have gotten him killed. Or neck pinched, depending on if Spock was in the room or not. It was a toss up who would get to him first.

Although he had ceased to lust after her, he couldn't help but admire Uhura from afar. After all, she was a fine woman. How did Spock manage to nab her before he, Kirk, the world renowned ladies man, could? It was one of life's mysteries. Like what happened when you divided by zero, or how many licks it took to get to the centre of a tootsy pop. And was it just him or were her skirts getting _shorter_? Was that even possible? Kirk didn't care to speculate. The rising hemline of Lt. Uhura's skirts was another one of the useless things that Jim observed from day to day.

"I believe that is the correct message," Spock said.

Kirk swiveled in his chair just in time to look like he had been facing front the whole time.

"Thank you, Commander. I knew it couldn't say that their frigate had gone 'swimming'."

"The words for swimming and missing are very similar in that dialect, due to a proximity to a rather tempestuous ocean."

Gah. He sounded like he was giving a lecture. Was that what did it for Uhura? Acting like a pompous know it all?

"That makes sense. Thanks, Commander," Uhura said.

"I am happy to help," Spock replied.

"It almost feels like we're back in advanced phonology again," Uhura said, a smile in her voice.

Kirk wondered what had gone on in advanced phonology. Or should he say, once class ended? Salacious images of Uhura in a darkened classroom flitted through his head.

"Indeed, Lieutenant," Spock replied, his even tone not changed in the least.

Kirk watched his communications officer and his second in command with narrowed eyes. If he hadn't seen them kissing each other himself, he wouldn't believe it. There was just no way that those two should be together. It was against – dare he say it? – logic.

There had to be some reason that Uhura was with Spock. They could be collaborating on something. They seemed to be talking in some sort of code sometimes, after all. They could be…

Kirk sat up straighter in his chair, the idea hitting him with the force of an Andurian hangover.

They were spies! Why had he not seen it before? It all fit. The weird collaboration, the strange code them seemed to be talking in at times, everything. That had to be it. They were gathering information, and passing it to each other by way of a sort of code. Of course. It was so simple now that all the pieces had come together. How had he not noticed before that his two senior officers were spies?

This brought up a whole other line of logic. Did Starfleet know? Maybe they didn't and it was his duty as the captain of the ship to inform them. Conversely, what if Starfleet _did_ know, and they were letting them pass false information along. Better to know who the spies in your midst were then not to know.

"Captain?" a smooth, even voice jolted him out of his thoughts. It was Spock. Oh, no. How was he supposed to react now that he knew Spock as a spy? How was he supposed to pretend that he had no idea about their dark secret?

"Captain?" Spock repeated.

"Yes. Yes, Spock?" Kirk said hurriedly.

"We are entering our destination, the Clatu nebula."

Clatu. Right. They were supposed to do some sort of sciency information gathering thing here.

"Right. Good. Excellent. Carry on."

"Are you alright, Captain?" Spock asked, a crease between his eyebrows showing concern.

An idea flashed into Kirk's head. If there was anyone he could trust _not_ to be a spy, it was Bones.

"Um, no, actually, I'm not. I'm feeling a little… um… Anyways, I think I should go talk to Bones for a minute. Can you handle this sciency thing, Mr. Spock?"

"If you are referring to our mission to gather telemetry readings from the nebula, then yes, I think I can handle it, Captain," Spock said.

"Good. Good. Well, I'll just head down to sickbay then…"

Kirk sidled away, trying to keep both Spock and Uhura in view. If they had figured out that he knew their dastardly secret, one of them would probably kill him. He had bets on Spock and his vicious neck pinch, but that's not saying that Uhura couldn't take him down as well. With some quick maneuvering, he was in the lift, leaving the the two officers on the bridge to gaze after him, confused.

Uhura shrugged.

"I don't ask any more," she said, turning back to her station.

"Indeed," Spock said.

-----

"Bones, Bones, I need to talk to you."

McCoy looked up from the officer he was scanning.

"Not now, Jim. I'm a little busy."

"It's important," Kirk whined.

"If this is about your hangover, it's your own fault," McCoy said, putting away his tricorder.

"Not about the hangover," Kirk said.

"Keep ice on it till the swelling goes down, and come in again if it's still causing you pain in the morning," McCoy instructed the officer sitting in front of him.

The officer, cradling a hand the side of a beach ball, nodded and hopped off the table.

"What happened to her?" Kirk asked.

"Accident in engineering. Now, what was so important that it couldn't wait?"

Kirk frowned.

"Can we talk somewhere more private?"

"If you're going to confess your undying love for me, Jim, you had better do it here," McCoy said.

Kirk just rolled his eyes.

"That was two years ago _and_ I was drunk. Come on, Bones, this is serious."

"Sure it is," McCoy muttered, but he was smiling in spite of himself. He led Kirk to his office, and closed the glass doors before turning and looking at the Captain expectantly.

"I've figured it out," Kirk said.

"Figured what out."

"Why Spock and Uhura are together."

McCoy raised an eyebrow, and leaned on his desk, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Go on, then. This aught to be good."

"This is serious!" Kirk insisted. "I was just sitting there and then it hit me. They're spies."

"They're _what?_" McCoy said.

"Spies. You know, spies? Spying for the enemy, passing on information. Using secret decoder rings."

"I know what a spy is, Jim. I just can't figure out why you think _Spock_ could be one."

"Come on, Bones. Haven't you noticed that they speak in code? That's got to be them passing on information. It's so obvious! Why else would they be together?"

McCoy was smirking now.

"Are you sure you're alright? You haven't caught that Telaxian flu that going around, have you? It makes you delusional. It also makes you burn up and develop pustules on your rear. You don't have pustules on your rear, do you?"

McCoy put his hand on Kirk's forehead, checking for fever. Kirk knocked his hand away.

"I'm not delusional. And I don't have pustules. It's perfectly rational to think that part of your crew is spying on you."

"Is that so?"

McCoy was coming forward with a hyperspray. Kirk dodged.

"Bones, cut it out! Listen to me. Haven't you noticed how sometimes when Spock and Uhura talk they say one thing and mean another?"

McCoy looked annoyed.

"I'm a doctor, not a fashion magazine. They're in love, Jim. People in love hardly ever make sense."

"Yeah, but this is Spock we're talking about. He's nothing if not logical."

"And how would it be logical to spy on the Enterprise?"

Ok, so McCoy had him here.

"But… but… why else would they be sneaking around and talking in code?"

McCoy sighed.

"They're in love, Jim."

Kirk thought about that for a moment. Sneaking around to… Oh. Um. Ew.

"Mental images I do _not_ want!" he said, wincing.

"I agree," said McCoy. "Now let me have a look at those pustules."

------

Kirk ran for the turbo lift, sliding his hand in to stop it from closing.

Spock acknowledged his captain with a nod of his head. He stood feet apart, hands behind his back, eyes forward. Kirk fought the urge to fidget on his behalf.

The lift opened again, and Uhura walked in. She flashed Kirk a smile, and came to stand beside Spock.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," Spock said, his grave voice even.

"Good morning, Commander," Uhura replied.

Kirk surreptitiously checked his watch. It was the afternoon again. Bones was probably right that they weren't spies, so what was with the code?

Spock leaned forward to press the lift button, just as Uhura leaned forward to do the same thing. Their fingers brushed. Neither said anything or even acknowledged it, but Kirk noticed.

And then he finally got it. It wasn't some weird fetish for pointy ears or a lapse in logic. It was real love. Imagine that. Spock and Uhura actually in love. No pretenses, no spy games, no secret decoder rings.

Kirk grinned.

In spite of himself, his grin turned into a chuckle.

The other occupants of the turbo lift looked at him, and Spock raised an eyebrow.

Kirk shook his head.

"Just… invite me to the wedding, ok?" he said as the doors slid smoothly open and he stepped out, leaving his second in command and his communications officer to stare after him, speechless.

_Author's Note: Sorry everyone! I know I've been saying that I would have a sequel to "Innocent Enough" up for about a week now. But first this went through a lot of revisions, and then my computer broke. I'm not proud of how much I freaked out at not having a computer. It's embarrassing how much I need this thing. But it's fixed now, and everything's alright, thank goodness. _

_All I have to say to Daeleniel Shadowphyre is: look what you've done! _

_I wasn't planning on writing a companion to "Innocent Enough", but after you sent that little vignette, I couldn't get it out of my head, and this is what happened! _

_This story definitely turned out different from what I thought it would be. It went through about four revisions, and at one time was two different stories that got merged together. It started out serious, and got sillier as I went along. I've been wanting to do Kirk's impressions of Spock and Uhura for a while now, but Daeleniel's suggestion really crystallized it for me. Thanks, Daeleniel! _


End file.
